@Token_Geezer

I’m no therapist but I’d suggest that the fact that you’ve whined about your ex here every day for a year may be why he left you.

@Token_Geezer

It’s so considerate of drug dealers to make the Police’s job so much easier, by always dressing just like drug dealers

@Token_Geezer

Relatives – Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too

@Token_Geezer

Remember, that the reason your kids can be so fuckin annoying sometimes..

Is that they’re miniature versions of you

@Token_Geezer

I’m doing the vacuuming..
It doesn’t need doing but it’s a legitimate way of annoying the kids

@Token_Geezer

Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single

@Token_Geezer

Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers

@Token_Geezer

Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb

I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly