I’m no therapist but I’d suggest that the fact that you’ve whined about your ex here every day for a year may be why he left you.
Buy one annoying person, get two free!
The morning after pill, but for tweets
It’s so considerate of drug dealers to make the Police’s job so much easier, by always dressing just like drug dealers
Relatives – Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too
Remember, that the reason your kids can be so fuckin annoying sometimes..
Is that they’re miniature versions of you
I’m doing the vacuuming..
It doesn’t need doing but it’s a legitimate way of annoying the kids
Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single
Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers
Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb
I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly