@UnFitz

If you think the world revolves around you, you’re either a narcissist or a terrible astronomer.

@UnFitz

For once I’d like to be referred to as The Chosen One but not when I’m being identified in a police lineup.

@UnFitz

NPR Presents “8-Armed Bandits: Why Octopi Can’t Be Trusted”

– a cephalopodcast

@UnFitz

Classified ad:

Hunter seeks gatherer for nasty, brutish and short relationship. No weirdos.

@UnFitz

People who say “You can’t argue with that” really don’t know me very well.

@UnFitz

Who called it an organic buffet instead of a natural selection?

@UnFitz

Do Flat Earthers also believe the sun and moon are flat?

Like, is the entire solar system just a mismatched collection of space dinner plates?

@UnFitz

Pro tip:

If you bring her flowers to apologize, don’t bring them in a vase.

She might still be pissed. No sense in arming her.

@UnFitz

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.

@UnFitz

I love that Twitter is so international. I can hit “send” & be misunderstood by people all over the world almost instantly.