Hundreds of creepy clowns terrorizing people across multiple states. On the bright side, they can all be picked up in one police car.
Since they won’t vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court.
Donald Trump says he’ll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she’ll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.
What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly? Knives?
I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I’d try my best to take that thing home.
Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town.
When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there’s someone for every un.
Just realized I only had one meal today. One, thirteen-hour meal.
I cried because my Wi-Fi was slow until I saw a guy stuck talking with his kids because he had no internet at all.