We avoided this particular disaster
I text “just met my future husband!” to at least one friend after each first date, just to ensure someone has a cute anecdote to tell at our wedding
I don’t understand. I cleaned my bathroom 7 months ago. Why is it dirty again.
A guy on Tinder just asked me what my Social Security Number was. I was so thrown – I’m really not used to men taking an interest in my life.
The term “baby steps” is so offensive to babies. If you’re a baby, taking a step is the most impressive thing you’ve ever done.
Things are getting serious with my new boyfriend. Neither of us have slept with anyone else in eleven months (we met last week)
HBO gave me unrealistic expectations about how many women would be named Siobhan
I’m fine with premarital sex, but marital sex just seems weird. That’s your roommate. Boundaries.
The problem with Netflix recommendations is they assume I “liked” a show just because I watched 13 hours of it
“Eating sugar will only make you feel better for a few minutes!” yeah as opposed to not eating sugar, which will make you feel better for zero minutes