@ginnyhogan_

I text “just met my future husband!” to at least one friend after each first date, just to ensure someone has a cute anecdote to tell at our wedding

@ginnyhogan_

I don’t understand. I cleaned my bathroom 7 months ago. Why is it dirty again.

@ginnyhogan_

A guy on Tinder just asked me what my Social Security Number was. I was so thrown – I’m really not used to men taking an interest in my life.

@ginnyhogan_

The term “baby steps” is so offensive to babies. If you’re a baby, taking a step is the most impressive thing you’ve ever done.

@ginnyhogan_

Things are getting serious with my new boyfriend. Neither of us have slept with anyone else in eleven months (we met last week)

@ginnyhogan_

HBO gave me unrealistic expectations about how many women would be named Siobhan

@ginnyhogan_

I’m fine with premarital sex, but marital sex just seems weird. That’s your roommate. Boundaries.

@ginnyhogan_

The problem with Netflix recommendations is they assume I “liked” a show just because I watched 13 hours of it

@ginnyhogan_

“Eating sugar will only make you feel better for a few minutes!” yeah as opposed to not eating sugar, which will make you feel better for zero minutes