Her: He cheated on me with my best friend!! 😭
Me: I thought I was your best friend 😭
Friend: Our backstories shape us, but don’t define us
Me: Like Spanx
Have to prepare for a work meeting so instead I cleaned my entire kitchen, hung up some paintings, varnished another, and organized my art supplies.
Thank goodness I have subtitles on, otherwise how would I know there is sinister cackling
Therapists only want one thing and frankly it’s discussing.
Them: Are you the woman who overuses contractions?
I don’t want kids for the simple reason that math has changed and I won’t be able to help with their homework