@jojipaints

Her: He cheated on me with my best friend!! 😭

Me: 😐☹️

Me: I thought I was your best friend 😭

@jojipaints

Friend: Our backstories shape us, but don’t define us

Me: Like Spanx

@jojipaints

Have to prepare for a work meeting so instead I cleaned my entire kitchen, hung up some paintings, varnished another, and organized my art supplies.

@jojipaints

Thank goodness I have subtitles on, otherwise how would I know there is sinister cackling

@jojipaints

Therapists only want one thing and frankly it’s discussing.

@jojipaints

Them: Are you the woman who overuses contractions?

Me: I’m.

@jojipaints

I don’t want kids for the simple reason that math has changed and I won’t be able to help with their homework