I’m thinking about getting a mirror over my bed so I can watch myself while I’m eating cereal.
You learn something new everyday. Yesterday I learned eating 29 SlimJims gives me diarrhea. Today I learned eating 28 also gives me diarrhea
Twitter should offer Shkreli his account back for $10,000 and if he agrees say sorry and suddenly raise the price 5600%
A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he’s on a date so he’s going to have good posture the whole time this sucks
Can’t wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post “what is this, 2016?” Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me.
Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school.
Inception (2010) – Five men and one woman plot to nap on a plane.
“Dont put all your eggs in one basket,” is a lie perpetuated by Big Basket to sell more baskets
women love to see the veins in a man’s arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister