
Facebook should figure out a way to make baby pictures into a renewable source of energy because then we would never have to worry again
Facebook should figure out a way to make baby pictures into a renewable source of energy because then we would never have to worry again
Gonna flirt with an electrician by calling them electrocute
Yes, my name is Kirk
Yes, my parents were Star Trek fans
Yes, I never heard these questions before
Yes, you are good at icebreakers
Galactus is about to eat our solar system when he flips over the label
WARNING: CONTAINS MERCURY
“No thanks, I’ll eat something else.”
Me to me: I’m pretty garbage
Someone complimenting me: You’re so great
Me: You’re absolutely wrongSomeone insulting me: You suck
Me: Listen here you little shit I’m amazing
Beyoncé: Who run the world?
Me: Oligarchs?
Beyoncé: This really changes my song
“Murder most fowl!” I scream as the cops pull me away from the many duck corpses. They explain I misunderstood Hamlet while arresting me.
Corn mazes should just be called maizes from now on
[first date]
{don’t let him know you’re a psychic}
{don’t let her know you’re a psychic}
{we’re both psychic?}
{yeah}
{cool let’s bang}
{k}
Lady Doritos was my favorite character in Macbeth