@IHideFromMyKids

Today it’s going to be really important that you listen well because we have to take a plane, train, and subway—

7yo: did you know if you spin in a circle really fast like this you fall down?

@IHideFromMyKids

NO SCREENS FOR THE WHOLE WEEKEND just fell out of my mouth and if divorce were a facial expression my husband just asked me for one

@IHideFromMyKids

MOM SHE JUST KICKED ME AREN’T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING?

I recuse myself on the grounds that I am her mother

ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THAT FOR EVERY—

I recuse myself on the grounds that I am your mother

@IHideFromMyKids

My 7yo learned that a seal in French is a “phoque” and like every Canadian child before her, she is enjoying this sweet swear loophole to its fullest

@IHideFromMyKids

I asked my 7yo why she’s so cranky and she said “I just have a lot on my plate right now” at which point my 10yo literally took a fry off her plate and that was not the right move

@IHideFromMyKids

When my 7yo gets mad at us she goes to her room and scream-sings angsty made up songs and I wonder if this is how Alanis got her start too

@IHideFromMyKids

If there was any question as to what kind of teenager my 7yo will be, last night she pulled out a toy cellphone and started pretend texting during her own bedtime story

@IHideFromMyKids

While I usually love my son’s sense of humour, pretending to not know us as we went through airport security was not one of those times

@IHideFromMyKids

Absolutely travel with kids. It’s important they experience begging to watch their iPad in new environments

@IHideFromMyKids

Here’s how I get my kids to wash the floor: I give them a cup of water without a lid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.