@Love_bug1016 sorry you tried to win an argument while i was wearing a sundress
@Love_bug1016 
@Love_bug1016 i just want world peace. and pop tarts to be fully frosted.
@Love_bug1016 i got my shoelace completely entangled around the pedal of a stationary bike at the gym and had to ask a stranger to untangle me, which took a good solid 7 minutes. but sure put me down as your emergency contact
@Love_bug1016 Him: you watch too much Food Network
Me: just enjoy your artisanal bread covered in a delectable berry compote
Him: its toast and jelly
@Love_bug1016 I’m sorry for the things I said when I was attempting to take off my sports bra.
@Love_bug1016 No thanks Cupid. If I wanted butterflies and my heart skipping beats, I would do something less ridiculous like lose my phone.
@Love_bug1016 I can’t do this. I think I’m dying. Why does your face look like a donut?
~ me 30 minutes into dieting
@Love_bug1016 What, I’m Asian?
*slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks*
*buys a bonsai tree*
@Love_bug1016 If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs.
@Love_bug1016 And then Satan said, “save time ~ respond to her text with a K.”