@MomofTeen

Customer Service: How does the name appear on your credit card?

Me: If i had to guess, I’d say it’s 11 pt. Arial bold.

@MomofTeen

My proper Mom said to get fully dressed for a party and then remove one item.

But people always give me odd looks when I don’t wear pants.

@MomofTeen

I have hidden my son’s socks in his sock drawer where he will never find them.

@MomofTeen

Americans pay for gym memberships and for people to mow their lawns.

@MomofTeen

Gravy boat.
Gravy boat.
All the dishes are on my son’s bedroom floor so I’m drinking coffee from a GRAVY BOAT!

@MomofTeen

Whenever I think of you, I am grateful for the many, many miles between us.

@MomofTeen

Interviewer: What makes you unique?

Me: I’m loyal to a fault, don’t gossip, & work hard.

I: Yeah, so, you’re not really going to fit in.

@MomofTeen

Not to split hairs, but I called you “haughty,” not “hottie.”

@MomofTeen

If having a social media account makes you a journalist, changing a lightbulb makes me an electrician.

@MomofTeen

Lower your expectations.
Lower yet.
Keep going.
There.
Hi, I’m Nancy!