me linking you to my twitter
if you can’t handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to
Flipped over my therapist’s writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with “shut up” written in every blank.
person: can you keep a secret?
me: I’ll never share what you say but it will weigh on me and negatively affect my life
person: oh thank god
Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They’ll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
Kissing someone mid sentence is only cute in movies. I will press my hand against your face and slowly push it way until I’m done talking.
Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress