Oh I’m heartbroken over you
Wait, no I was just thirsty, I’m fine
I can make it rain with these here birthing hips.
As in I keep knocking the papers off my desk every time I walk by it.
My boss waters the fake plant outside my office and I let him continue doing it because it makes me laugh every single time
My daughter and I tell each other “you are pretty” when the other does something stupid. Obviously, we say like 15 times a day.
He has notifications on for me pray for his phone
Some of y’all need Jesus and I say this as an atheist