@IGotsSmarts “T.G.I.F!” – not Jesus, probably.
@IGotsSmarts Tear gas is the saddest gas.
@IGotsSmarts She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
@IGotsSmarts Still wondering if Rick Astley gives up anything for Lent.
@IGotsSmarts Many rastafarian babies are born out of dreadlock.
@IGotsSmarts A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food.
@IGotsSmarts My apathy is at an all time whatever.
@IGotsSmarts Everybody wants to change the world, but no one can find a diaper that’s big enough.
@IGotsSmarts My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.
@IGotsSmarts If I could be a superhero, I’d be Aluminum Man. My superpower would be foiling crime.