@broken_rhi Crunching numbers would be a lot more fun if they made little potato chip sounds after each equation.
@broken_rhi @broken_rhi Autocorrect changed fairly big meeting to fairy bug meeting so now everyone in the office is stripping and running away to the forest.
@broken_rhi It’s 3am and my neighbor across the street is sorting two garbage bins full of cabbages on his front lawn. Whatever gets you through the night, man.
@broken_rhi Sometimes I open my dog’s giant food bag with a knife so she is impressed with my kibble hunting skills.
@broken_rhi I’m tired of being the strong one. I want to be a noodle.
@broken_rhi Twitter is a lot like kindergarten; there’s yelling, giggling, struggling with basic reading comprehension…and everyone is super excited to show you their toys.
@broken_rhi I’m very jealous of people who can take selfies with their dogs. My dog is like OH BOY WE ARE SITTING TOGETHER I LOVE YOU LICK FACE FOREVER
@broken_rhi I’m a simple woman. I don’t need fancy things like jewelry or sanity to be happy.
@broken_rhi Bi women make the best comedians because we can never keep a straight face.
Thanks for following
@broken_rhi My favorite question is “are you a real person?” and the answer is no. I’m a sewer rat who discovered an old iphone and is now using it for nefarious purposes. Hope that settles that.