My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age.
So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl.
Tik Tok.
You strike me as one of those people who show up and debunk all the fun in the last 2 minutes of an otherwise scintillating UFO TV program.
The day we decided such footwear would be called “flip-flops” was not our most creative moment.
It’s widely known that some members of a prison population become well-read and crafty with words.
Sometimes you can mix prose with cons.
I am rarely judgmental, but I do scowl, and shake my head slowly in disapproval whenever I see a vegan biting its nails.
I just found a Macklemore CD in a Thrift Shop and the Universe imploded.
Be nice to me or I will rain down Hell upon you when I start my blog.
No I don’t want to ride in a basket beneath your giant flying fire tent.
If you tell me your kid is 22 months and I buy it a beer, that’s on you. That is your bad.
“I can’t feel my legs”
–mermaids
Pluto should totally move on and find a solar system that’s going to treat it with the respect it deserves.
Lately I go to the restroom at the movies, but forget where I’m seated then return & just begin a new life in a new seat with a new family.
“I need a timing belt & power steering for my life” I say to my new bros, using the only 2 car-terms I know in a single testosterone bullet.
Love is a can of soda. Open it up too fast & it explodes all over you. Take too long, it goes flat. But no matter what you should recycle.
Check out this list number 5 is awesome.
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5.awesome