me: hey remember when we hid the stamps from the kids?
my brain: yup!
me: where did we put those?
my brain: ok, you’re never gonna believe this
My 4yo was pretending to be a cat before bed, then meowed a few times in his sleep. Now that is commitment to a bit
My kid got all dramatic and started a story with “in the deep dark woods there lived…a chicken” and now I need him to come home from the park and tell me the rest
🎶 Never gonna get you out
Never gonna heat you up
Never gonna remember I wanted to eat you
-me, putting leftovers away in the fridge
Didn’t realize my kid was a midwestern farmer in a past life until we drove by a cornfield and he muttered “sure is gettin’ tall”
6: that’s none of your business
4: it IS my business
4: what does business mean
Can’t wait for my family to go to sleep so I can do that thing I like*
*eat the good cheese
My kid didn’t like how his stuffed animal was behaving, so he renamed him Not-Listening-Ostrich, and I’m just over here wondering how to update some birth certificates
4: I didn’t know lizards were cold
It only looks like my kids are having popsicles for breakfast, Brenda, those are clearly frozen smoothies