@juneohara65

I asked my cat if I’m passive aggressive and she ignored me.

I hope I don’t forget to feed her tonight.

@juneohara65

“And to my heirs, I will leave all this….”

*gestures toward 146 half-full nail polishes, all roughly the same color

@juneohara65

My cat is smarter than I am but I’m brighter than most plants, so I feel like I’m holding my own.

@juneohara65

Halloween: The one day I can flap my arms like a bat and nobody asks any questions.

@juneohara65

Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.

@juneohara65

I await the announcement that Trump’s running mate will be Charlie Sheen.

@juneohara65

Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom.
Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.