@mommajessiec A sense of humor is key to a good marriage. For example, my husband makes fun of himself and I laugh and he laughs. I make fun of myself and I laugh and he laughs and I go dead silent.
@mommajessiec @mommajessiec Mom, can you come pick me up? I’m at a party and someone is coughing.
@mommajessiec The Roomba keeps going right past a piece of garbage without picking it up. It’s one of the family now.
@mommajessiec Stages of home cleanliness:
1. Spotless
2. Tidy
3. Messy
4. Apocalyptic doom
5. Unsupervised toddler
@mommajessiec Happy MOM THIS HUGE ASSIGNMENT IS DUE TOMORROW AND I’VE JUST STARTED IT to all those who celebrate.
@mommajessiec My daughter still doesn’t understand this math problem even though I’ve explained it in several different frustrated tones.
@mommajessiec Get your relatives speaking to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.
@mommajessiec Marriage isn’t between a man and a woman. It’s between a person who is certain they closed the garage door and a person who is certain they did not close the garage door.
@mommajessiec I get it, McFlurry machine. I don’t work when I’m at work either.
@mommajessiec My teen isn’t feeling well and WebMD says imminent death but Google classroom says imminent math test.