can’t stop reading about defunct consumer brands
me: [has anything]
my cat: were you going to sit on the rest of that
Trying to support my wife’s fitness goals without coming across as ‘too’ supportive. “I’ll watch the kids if you wanna run on the treadmill. Not saying you need to…like only if you want to. Or do something different with that time cuz you’re perfect.”
kids today are missing out of the pre-streaming era, where your childhood was at least partially defined by some semi-obscure movie your family just happened to own on tape and you watched several dozen times
Dane Cook: I’m dating a 23 year old
Leonardo DiCaprio: hold my beer
Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend: I can’t
So HR says it’s “unacceptable” to bring my lunch in a bottle and that vodka “isn’t soup”
Best spot.. 😅
so my neighbor and i both had mouse sightings this week. here’s how our landlord responded:
The Professor Banned Laptops In Class. Too Bad College Kids Are Petty!😂😭😭
asked my roommate for an update on my cat tofu and she sent me this 😭
It finally happened: someone asked me where the library was in Spanish. I’ve been training for this since high school.
Spy balloons monitor our skies and our psyche
Everyone says this ChatGPT is as smart as a person, but I won’t be inpressed until I know which person.