I respect the tenacity of the Jurassic theme park investors who won’t stop trying to crack the profit formula for making money on murder monsters who keep eating the customers.
With dog videos it’s just “I love you,” but with cat videos there’s betrayal, intrigue, deception, hubris, conspiracy, infamy and occasionally “I love you.”
Me: I wish I had a nickname.
Coworker: You do.
I have no sympathy for people who leave their car doors unlocked then complain when they find me sleeping in the backseat.
Popeye just relied on the spinach to turn him into a bucking mule or his hands into sledgehammers. He really had no fighting technique.
I was jogging at night once in jeans when I caught up to an old guy at the corner. He was so startled he handed me his wallet. I didn’t want to waste all his fear so I politely took it.
Diving is a sport cuz some people are really good at jumping into water.
Cauliflower pretzels? Do you know what either of those words mean?
You kids may find it hard to believe but there was a time when a new Star Wars or Marvel movie didn’t feel like a homework assignment.
“You will be visited by three spirits. The first two will be a waste of your time but the third one, holy shit…”