
Playing horsey, but it’s just my 2yo granddaughter riding my last nerve.
Playing horsey, but it’s just my 2yo granddaughter riding my last nerve.
Many people don’t know the ceiling fan was invented when a plane crashed into a home and they just left it.
Me: I saved $2000 remodeling the bathroom [flexes muscles].
Her: Did you add the hospital visit?
Me:
Meeting the love of your life on Twitter is a crapshoot, it may go really well or his mom may unplug the Wi-Fi.
My wife put the screws leftover from the dishwasher repair in a frame and hung it on the wall.
It’s not funny.
The potato masher IS the Gatekeeper of the utensil drawer, don’t piss her off.
Real estate agent: You can’t get cell phone calls out here.
Me: We’ll take it.
A few years ago I began putting away a dollar everytime I wrote a good tweet about hedgehogs.
I need a new financial plan.
My wife bought me a nice jacket at a second hand store but it has the name Bubba embroidered on it, I guess I’m Bubba now.
A snow angel, except a floor covered in puppies.