@mariana057

(Toy store)
ME: “Where do you keep the Schwarzenegger dolls?”
Clerk: “Aisle B, back”

@mariana057

One spelling mistake and my wife is all upset. All I wrote was: Having a great time, wish you were her.

@mariana057

Stallone: I’m making a movie about composers. I’m playing Beethoven.
Van Damme: I’ll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys, I’m not saying it.

@mariana057

What did this chicken ever do to them?? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

@mariana057

Another wooden ball!!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?? I have like 12 already

@mariana057

My wife and I have decided we don’t want to have children.
So we are going to tell them tonight at dinner.

@mariana057

NASA is launching a new mission to say sorry to the aliens, they are calling it, โ€œApollo Gโ€

@mariana057

I bought a Christmas tree today and the salesman asked if I was going to put it up myself. I said no, Iโ€™m going to put it in the living room.