@meganamram When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it’s like what am i, your maid
@meganamram @meganamram Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff
@meganamram Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won’t send MY dog to obedience school
@meganamram When I die I want to be cremated and blown in the faces of my enemies
@meganamram I’ve got a “bun” (baby) in the “oven” (oven)
@meganamram I’m giving up spellcheck for Lant
@meganamram Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves
@meganamram Idea: “Celebrity Price Is Right” where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460
@meganamram Always a metermaid never a meter
@meganamram My face is very symmetrical…over the x-axis 🙁