How good at basketball do you have to be to get a COVID test
At the intermission of musicals there should be a very short football game
when adam driver cut his arm in marriage story my mom said “hemorrhage story” and I thought that was a pretty good one
Kids movies really made me believe that the greatest threats on earth were dogcatchers and quicksand
What if during Halloween people said “creepy crawlidays”
This aging app is really getting people’s hopes up that the world will still be here when they’re old
When an ex mansplains something to you it’s called “explaining”
If you can get the pronouns right for a boat you can get them right for a person
What if the brown ones are just clear M&M’s
What if all your muscles can taste but your tongue is the only one you usually put food on
“WELL ACTUALLY”: a sequel to “LOVE ACTUALLY” about why it’s problematic
If video games have taught me anything, it’s that you’ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss
I just want to be as happy as a character in the first half hour of a horror movie
It’s hard for me to commit when everyone I love is 70% water
#InternationalWomensDay is just a holiday hallmark made up to sell more women
Anyone who didn’t invent something in the 1400s was an idiot
Just saw a broken down food truck AKA A RESTAURANT
Americans sure like Star Wars for something that immediately forces you to read
I’m a lady on the streets but a silly fake ghost in the sheets