@meganamram

When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it’s like what am i, your maid

@meganamram

Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff

@meganamram

Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won’t send MY dog to obedience school

@meganamram

When I die I want to be cremated and blown in the faces of my enemies

@meganamram

Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves

@meganamram

Idea: “Celebrity Price Is Right” where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460