
When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it’s like what am i, your maid
When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it’s like what am i, your maid
Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won’t send MY dog to obedience school
When I die I want to be cremated and blown in the faces of my enemies
I’ve got a “bun” (baby) in the “oven” (oven)
I’m giving up spellcheck for Lant
Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves
Idea: “Celebrity Price Is Right” where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460
Always a metermaid never a meter
My face is very symmetrical…over the x-axis 🙁