him: your so cute! why are you alone!?
me: you’re
him: …
me: hello? hello?
got so much cardio in today
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my boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner “sometime,” so now we have to move.
ah, yes. the elusive llamarshmallow.
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multitasking lunch
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mom gave me mine for free
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be the person your targeted ads think you should be
what’s a not gay way of asking your bro to pose shirtless for a pic that you’ll silkscreen on a body pillow?
i gotta stop wearing clothes that have recently washed up on shore
going ballistic.
anyone need anything?
hot panini’s mom is pissed, you guys.
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inappropriate Care Bears be like:
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my nickname in college
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wishing you and yours all the best
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i now pronounce you bounced.
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