@texasstalkermom

Ways to get me naked:

1. Be hot
2. Be funny
3. Be alcohol
4. Pretend to be my gynecologist

@texasstalkermom

I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don’t show up there.

@texasstalkermom

If you want to intimidate anyone with your screaming and honking, you may need to rethink those reindeer antlers on your car.

@texasstalkermom

Want his attention?

Send nudes

Want to piss him off?

When he responds,
reply “Oops, wrong person”

@texasstalkermom

How many beer trucks can you “accidentally” run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?

@texasstalkermom

That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide.

@texasstalkermom

You find my yoga pants distracting…

…would you like me to take them off?