@urmumsausername

It was an art back in the day to be able to fit your tweet into 140 characters

Now people tweet chapters and their tweets are still a load of bollocks. See? This one is already far too long. I apologise for wasting your time and omg why are you still reading this rubbish?

@urmumsausername

Not to brag, but I am really good at taking naps.
I can even do them with my eyes closed.

@urmumsausername

My 8 year old son got a Wonka Bar for Christmas. His friend said that he didn’t know they sold them in real life & my son said of course they Oompa loompa doompety doo.

@urmumsausername

My son just walked into the room, said hello, asked how I was, then left.

He didn’t actually want anything.

I know! Incredible!

Oh and then I fainted.

@urmumsausername

Now I lay me down to sleep
I hope you like this and retweet
If I should die before I wake
I may have eaten too much cake