@AllanForsyth

“Girl, same.”

– Midwife, handing a mother the second of her newborn identical twins.

@AllanForsyth

A ceiling fan? Not before I visited the Sistine Chapel, I wasn’t.

@AllanForsyth

No, Susan, I haven’t just “grown a new beard” – I’ve rewilded my face.

@AllanForsyth

My eldest daughter is gifted. Next Christmas she’ll be getting regifted.

@AllanForsyth

Once again, I’m sorry that I described your newborn twins as “a bit samey samey”.

@AllanForsyth

Ladies, if you love zoos and meet a nice man who’s in charge of one, he’s a keeper.

@AllanForsyth

Time is said to be a great healer, which is presumably why the waiting lists are so long.

@AllanForsyth

Non-believers of Earth being a sphere presumably flatly deny all the evidence.

@AllanForsyth

Avalanches won my recent poll of the world’s favourite natural disasters, by a landslide.