Before we eat, my father always makes us join hands and debate critical race theory.
I heard the iPhone 15 won’t have any ports or jacks or a screen and it will just be a smooth steel ball and finally we’ll all be happy.
I’m trying to convince my Seattle in-laws the new travel ban means we can’t visit them this summer.
This summer, camp counselors all over the country will shine flashlights under their chins and read the headlines.
My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids’ faces when the snakes start to hatch.
According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of “The Apprentice.”
Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can’t park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window.
Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancée by the way he hasn’t murdered her.
Gift cards: the best way to say “Here. You figure it out.”