@RunOldMan

Doing more laundry today, seems I have more people living here than I can actually see.

@RunOldMan

In my town we have little crime and lots of cops which makes me mad because all the good donuts are gone early in the morning.

@RunOldMan

When you give them a gift card to a restaurant because you don’t like them enough to take to dinner.

@RunOldMan

I was rudely awakened by my wife’s snoring and she had the nerve to get mad because I started howling at the moon.

@RunOldMan

Some of you wonder how I’m still married, pfft you should wonder how I got married in the first place.

@RunOldMan

Things that go bump in the night except it’s me sneaking back in from the pub.