My mother always cooked with wine
while I was growing up back home.
Occasionally she would even add
some to whatever she was cooking.
“Invisible Woman” just followed me.
I did not see that coming.
Imagine the conversations between
the fly on the wall and the elephant
in the room after everyone leaves.
Be carefully which minty aromatic
plants you accidentally step on.
Thyme wounds all heels.
My wife told me we had a Lent calendar.
So I asked her when we had to return it.
I went to school with a girl named
We tried calling her Pam …
but it didn’t stick.
You can tell a lot about a person
by his hot dog stand order
I knew the guy was a Buddhist when
he said “Make me one with everything”
The age-old question ….
Are we alone ?
Of course we’re not.
There are 320 million other
idiots on Twitter besides us.
I got fired from my job as a diesel
fitter in a panties factory.
We would hold the panties up,
inspect them and say “Dese’ll fit her”
Parents who have allowed your
8 yr olds to become spoiled brats …
We’ll check back in 10 years to see
how that worked out for you.