@bodybycheezits

[peels off pepperoni]
she loves me

[peels off pepperoni]
she loves me not

@bodybycheezits

[arrives in heaven]

how’d you die?

me: i was sitting in a beanbag chair and my house caught on fire

@bodybycheezits

I wish snacks could talk so they could verify my whereabouts from 1 am to 3 am this morning.

@bodybycheezits

I’m obsessed with you. Not like peak through your window obsesseHEY I LIKE THAT DRESS WEAR THAT ONE

@bodybycheezits

Did you ever think about ten years ago you’d be saying.. “I really hope this is a chick I’m talking to”.

@bodybycheezits

My current diet all ends with an S.

Pizzas.
Hamburgers.
Tacos.
Nachos.
Everything that’s in sights.