@brianbowman73 I remember when all this was farmland!
*gestures toward internet*
@brianbowman73 @brianbowman73 Sorry I called you an imbecile.
I should’ve realized I would have to explain to you what that means.
@brianbowman73 *applies for million dollar grant to test scientific theory*
What’s your theory?
That money can buy happiness.
@brianbowman73 I give new meaning to the word “awesome.”
At least I did when I changed the Wikipedia entry.
@brianbowman73 I was once put in the ‘friend zone,” but with perseverance that all changed. I’m now in the ‘must stay 200 yards away at all times zone.’
@brianbowman73 Do mermaids clean the sea or how does that work?
@brianbowman73 25 more pounds to lose and I’ll be ready to be seen at my gym.
@brianbowman73 What do you mean I can’t change the past?
*logs on to Wikipedia*
@brianbowman73 Sorry I said your cat was ugly.
Oh, and sorry for thinking your baby was a cat.
@brianbowman73 Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses.
Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous…
Interviewer: Strengths?
Me: Vocabulary?