@clindsaysway Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don’t tell me about the great ‘bargain’ you found.
@clindsaysway @clindsaysway Senator Clinton, what will you do now?
Hillary: Divorce Bill.
@clindsaysway *gets whistled at, but by traffic cop
@clindsaysway Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses.
@clindsaysway *helping son with math problem*
[hour later]
JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!
@clindsaysway *finally detangles ear buds
*plane lands
@clindsaysway FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.
@clindsaysway Best way to get picked up at a gym is fall off a machine.
@clindsaysway I like to make a guy feel welcome in the morning by surrounding him with stuffed animals while he sleeps.
@clindsaysway When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people.