@ozzyunc

Remodel Shows: “Transform your fire escape into the perfect home office.”

@ozzyunc

Yogi’s cousin Yoga Bear teaches classes at the maul & carried off a camper named Matt.

@ozzyunc

Anyone who can get the straw in the Capri Sun on the first try can make your death look like an accident.

@ozzyunc

I’ve reviewed your insurance & laughter really is the best medicine.

@ozzyunc

Nothing takes longer than a kid telling you a joke they just made up.

@ozzyunc

The “you can’t sit with us” kids don’t like it when you call them the “you can’t sit with us” kids.

@ozzyunc

To add insult to injury illiterate is hard to spell.

@ozzyunc

You can buy a 48-pack of referee whistles on Amazon for $8. Give them to the kids of people you hate.

@ozzyunc

When you stub your toe but there are kids around.

@ozzyunc

Was Darth Vader a humidifier or dehumidifier?