Yes, air conditioning, I’ll marry you. Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Just saw that french fries, sugar, and coffee speed up the aging process, so my age right now is 172.
I eat oatmeal in the morning to help my cholesterol. I eat cheese for the rest of the day because I ate oatmeal in the morning.
My husband had an affair in my dream, but I still love him. And if I ever talk to him again, I’ll tell him.
If there were a prize for not having even one winning number on multiple Powerball tickets, I would be a millionaire.
I just walked up three flights of stairs really fast, so if anyone needs me, I’ll be dead at the top of the stairwell.
Thinking about taking a picture with a number pinned to my shirt so it looks like I run marathons.
I just want to be as happy as the couple described in the first five minutes of any Dateline episode.
My husband sent me a text that said…I love you, but have something gross to tell you. I can tell it’s going to be terribly romantic.
My son played a song in the car and I actually liked it. Hell has frozen over.