@suecorvette

* overheard at the bar *

Becky: so what do you do?

Him: I’m a beekeeper

Ecky: you astard!!!!

@suecorvette

*burglar alarm goes off*

me (turns to the robber asleep beside me): honey it’s time to get up and go to work

@suecorvette

when I’m sound asleep Sunday morning and someone rings the doorbell

@suecorvette

professor x: what’s your superpower?

me: I turn everyone into a character from the movie Grease

professor x: tell me more, tell me more

@suecorvette

if you are what you eat, my dog is my favourite pair of shoes

@suecorvette

I’m learning how to do weight training by lifting dogs. I picked up a few pointers yesterday