Jennifer on Facebook hates being sick.
Really Jennifer? Most people love it.
I walk around my yard with a fake neck tattoo so my neighbors will not ask me to watch their kids.
If your drug dealer is on time, he’s a cop.
Todd on Facebook hates being sick.
Really Todd? Most people love it.
I like to reassure my girlfriend that even though I don’t have big muscles she is always safe with me cause I’m a really loud screamer.
On tonight’s episode of Catfish, Cathy finds out she’s been in an online relationship with a pineapple.
Nobody runs faster than a 4 year old holding your iPhone.
My favorite part about Black Friday is the part where I go to the mall, find a great parking spot & sit in my car with the reverse lights on
Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it’s a hamburger
Just took my girlfriend to the movies and now I’m $10,000 in debt.
I threw up in a porta potty at a Winger concert back in 88′ …. We did not have the internet back then so I’m telling you now.
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight …. So I got that going for me.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about shit ….?
The cops just showed up at work & all the workers that have been in trouble before fled. At least that’s what I can see from under my desk.