@Bandersnaaatch I just wrote that it has already been an exceptionally long eeek and I don’t even feel the need to correct it.
@Bandersnaaatch @Bandersnaaatch DONT YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO I HAVE A OUIJA BOARD FOR THAT
@Bandersnaaatch When your 13yo is live streaming her makeup application in the bathroom you are obligated to open the door and loudly ask if she’s done pooping.
@Bandersnaaatch “I’ll never forget you!” I yelled to what’s his name.
@Bandersnaaatch I need to make my kids understand that I’m not staff, I’m management.
@Bandersnaaatch DO YOU WANT ME TO RAP?
I WILL RAP!– how I threaten my kids
@Bandersnaaatch Sorry I haven’t been able to get back to you, I’ve been pretty busy chasing this cherry tomato around my plate with a fork. Almost. Got. It.
@Bandersnaaatch On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I’ve eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage.
@Bandersnaaatch I will love you ’til the end of time, or until my blood alcohol level normalizes, whichever comes first.
@Bandersnaaatch A fun thing to do is sit on the couch with black buttons over your eyes while your kids watch Coraline, then wait for them to notice.