@BobGolen

“Who’s your favorite vampire?”

“The one on Sesame Street.”

“He doesn’t count.”

“I can assure you that he does.”

@BobGolen

When I was young I was poor. But after decades of hard work, I’m no longer young.

@BobGolen

The car salesman said my vehicle will seat five people without any problems. How am I suppose to find five people without any problems?

@BobGolen

My boss used to call me “the computer”. Nothing to do with intelligence. I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

@BobGolen

I considered buying this but the scratches on the lid had me concerned.

@BobGolen

Beautiful day in Ohio. Went out for a run but I was back home in a couple of minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m old and fat and can’t run for more than two minutes. if that.

@BobGolen

TV and movies would have you believe that there are way more people crawling around in ventilation ducts than there actually are.