@Havish_AF

Fridges are proof that it’s what’s inside that matters and not how you look like on the outside.

@Havish_AF

Please don’t ask her what she wants for Valentine’s day. She’ll say she wants nothing. You’ll believe her and we both know how it’s going to end.

@Havish_AF

As your mom always said, “Heavy is the head that wears the clown.”

@Havish_AF

Studies say that if you sleep on the right side of a bed, it means you don’t sleep on its left side.

@Havish_AF

You know you’re ordering too much takeout food when the delivery guy replies ” it’s me” when you ask who’s at the door.

@Havish_AF

If she says “I have a question but don’t lie”, just know that she already has eight photos, three witnesses, a voice message and eighty six screenshots.

@Havish_AF

Wife: Could you load the dishwasher while you’re in the kitchen?
Husband: I’m in the bathroom now
W: Please change the roll
H: Sorry. Garage.
W: Please wash the car
H: Can’t. I’m in France now
W: Bring back croissants

@Havish_AF

I miss the days when Twitter fights were about whether to pour the milk first or the cereal.

@Havish_AF

Absolutely noone:
Americans: I took French at school but all I can remember is fromage.