@LurkAtHomeMom

Who are we? KIDS
What do we want? OATMEAL
When do we want it? NEVER, WE CHANGED OUR MINDS, WE DON’T LIKE OATMEAL ANYMORE

@LurkAtHomeMom

Yes of course the covid exposure notices are scary, but nothing shakes me to the core like an old fashioned classroom head lice letter.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Please keep my 6 year old in your prayers, his sister is copying him.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Sure, you can clean your house while the kids are home. You could also shovel your driveway with a spoon during a blizzard. When it comes to wasting time, the possibilities are endless.

@LurkAtHomeMom

My husband keeps nagging me to get my oil changed, which is ridiculous because I swear I just did that three thousand months ago.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Please join me in prayer for my two year old daughter, her sleeve is wet.

@LurkAtHomeMom

6yo: please please please???
Me: fine. Just give me 5 minutes.
[40 minutes later]
6yo: has it been 5 minutes?
Me: no.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Husband: We need to cut back on spending for January. Just stick to the necessities, you know?

Me: *placing an order for snow boots for the dogs* absolutely

@LurkAtHomeMom

The shortest amount of time known to man is what scientists call a “sundae second.” It refers to the period of time between when your child says he is too full to finish dinner and when he asks for ice cream.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Nobody has to pee more than a small child who has just put on 10 lbs of snow gear.