@LurkAtHomeMom

Who are we? KIDS
What do we want? OATMEAL
When do we want it? NEVER, WE CHANGED OUR MINDS, WE DON’T LIKE OATMEAL ANYMORE

@LurkAtHomeMom

Yes of course the covid exposure notices are scary, but nothing shakes me to the core like an old fashioned classroom head lice letter.

@LurkAtHomeMom

My 6yo: *begs to go to a Mexican restaurant*

Also my 6yo: *orders a hot dog*

@LurkAtHomeMom

[Bucket Lists]
2003:
1. Visit Rome
2. Go skydiving
3. Run marathon

2017:
1. Eat sitting down
2. Wake up naturally
3. Finish painting foyer

@LurkAtHomeMom

I didn’t have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Nobody is hungrier than a child who’s just been told it’s time for bed.

@LurkAtHomeMom

No thanks, I’m not hungry right now. I’ll just wait until after you put it away and sit down. Then I’ll have some.

-kids

@LurkAtHomeMom

Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.

@LurkAtHomeMom

Toddler: *crying bc it isn’t her turn with the princess crown*

Me: Sweetie, you need to share

Husband: Just give her the crown, you’re 35

@LurkAtHomeMom

I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They’ve obviously never found their bra size on clearance.