@TheAlexNevil

Though built to help exterminate all human life, XJ719 really wanted to be a gold medal-winning Olympic athlete.
And 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 exterminate all human life.

@TheAlexNevil

Fact: mongooses are super fast and agile and are well known to be dangerous to cobra kai students.

@TheAlexNevil

12: Can I have $20?
Me: I think you mean borrow
12: I don’t think that’s what I mean

@TheAlexNevil

A Quiet Place (Family, 2018): heartwarming tale of parents who keep their kids quiet with the help of a murderous monster

@TheAlexNevil

A Quiet Place (Family, 2018): heartwarming tale of parents who keep their kids quiet with the help of a murderous monster

@TheAlexNevil

Me: Okay, time to get off our bed
Dog: It’s adorable that you think that.

@TheAlexNevil

Kevin didn’t know how much longer he could fake laugh at Linda’s dumb jokes, but he did know he didn’t want to be glue.

@TheAlexNevil

Her: How does she always know we’re taking her to the vet?
Him: I don’t know. Keep looking.