@TitansHomer Florida be like…
@TitansHomer @TitansHomer {Police Job Interview}
Captain: Go out & kill 5 Blacks, 3 Mexicans & a kitten.
Recruit: Why kill a kitten?
Captain: You’re hired.
@TitansHomer [High School Reunion]
Him: I started my own Law Firm last year
Me: It took 2 months, but I convinced my wife Space Jam was a true story
@TitansHomer I wouldn’t say I “missed” your call.
@TitansHomer According to the heart rate monitor on this treadmill, I died 14 minutes ago.
@TitansHomer My wife started clipping coupons to help me save money.
She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
@TitansHomer MTV stopped having their “Unplugged” specials because the shitty artists we have now can’t play any instruments.
@TitansHomer I’m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone “I’m ok, I’m ok”
@TitansHomer Guess what!
Some blacks don’t like whites, some whites don’t like blacks!
And nobody likes Mexicans!
Big deal! Who cares!
@TitansHomer My cousin: “i just closed a big deal today that is going to make me a ton of money!”
Me: “some guy name Queef Nuggets RTed me”