@batkaren

“My god,” the explosives specialist says. “The bomb’s diffuser is hooked up to a ridiculously difficult sudoku that has to be solved in under 6 minutes!”

I slowly look up. My time has come…

@batkaren

Exactly like a tissue box dispenser, except for cold cuts.

@batkaren

Bruce Wayne could prevent so much more crime if he just used his vast fortune to buy up all the Gotham tri-state area abandoned chemical plants and dilapidated amusement parks.

@batkaren

Surprise them all by pulling a sword on your maid of honor.

@batkaren

Dinosaurs never could have survived to the present day.

Like…can you even imagine a stegosaurus trying to climb into a Honda Civic? Totally ridiculous.

@batkaren

Sorry I armed a group of theoretical physicists with Sharpies and set them loose in your glass pane warehouse

@batkaren

The best part about living during a global plague as climate collapse ravages a planet poised on the brink of world war is definitely getting up every day to make sure the spreadsheets are still spreadsheeting.

@batkaren

if you actually do the calculations, it turns out movies always give the wrong answers for equations because otherwise they owe a royalty to math

@batkaren

My heist companions jump into the car, screaming, “GO! GO!” at me.

I frantically lick sauce off my fingers, trying to pack up my leftover spare ribs…