@bossy_bootz

Red light : Stop

Yellow light : Proceed w/ caution

Green light : Wait till everyone hates you then go

@bossy_bootz

Of course I can handle constructive criticism
*resents you for the next 50 yrs

@bossy_bootz

How to get ready for things :

1. Procrastinate for 5 hours

2. Panic 10 min before leaving

@bossy_bootz

Sorry if my tweets aren’t good enough for you, person who retweets Cher

@bossy_bootz

I notice you only call when you want something

Person calling: ma’am your bill is 90 days past due

@bossy_bootz

Everyone’s an atheist until they’re making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail

@bossy_bootz

3 things you never get back :

A word after it’s said

Time after it’s passed

Your pen if I really like it

@bossy_bootz

*leaves the kids w/ a new babysitter

*calls to check on the sitter