me: the earth isn’t flat

fiat earther: correct

me: huh?

fiat earther: it’s the shape an italian car

me: what?

fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?


“are you ok?” no i took the cereal bag out of the box and now it won’t fit back in


interviewer: describe yourself

me: you know the urge to awkwardly hobble-run across the road when someone lets you cross? i am basically that energy manifested into an entire person

interviewer: ok