What do you call a man with no car???
…an Uber.
The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.
If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.
My son is at that age where he’s curious about the human body.
I’ll have to hide it somewhere else now.
I’m really excited about this amateur autopsy club I just joined.
Tomorrow is open Mike night.
What’s the difference between a sweet potato that you take out of an oven and a pig you throw out the window?
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham….
When algebra teachers retire, how do they deal with the aftermath?
I hate it when people don’t know the difference between “You’re” and “Your”
There stupid…
Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
Did you know Yoda has a last name?
It’s Layheehoo…
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two – one to screw it most of the way and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
Marriage has its pros and cons: on one hand, you get to wear a cool ring, but on the other hand, you don’t.
Just thought I’d let everybody know that
I passed my paintball exam…with flying colors…
Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery…
Matthew: “Can I get three loaves of bread please?”
Baker: “What type do you want sir?”
Matthew: “All rye, all rye, all rye.”
Why is it spelled camouflage and not