@seancehat

me: I’m becoming very forgetful lately

doctor: can you give me an example

me: of what

@seancehat

[first day as a pilot]

me: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for

co-pilot: they keep your shirt closed

@seancehat

[opening birthday cards]

me: [disappointed] there’s no money in any of these

walmart clerk: put those back