@wildethingy

Age is just a number in the same way that a killer whale is just a fish.

@wildethingy

I only Googled how to make a bomb so I can be sure I don’t accidentally have bomb making equipment in my house that would get me arrested in a surprise police raid.

Cop: And yet, here we are…

@wildethingy

Can scientists please stop calculating pi to a million decimal places and instead get working on an instant hangover cure.