@Eden_Eats

If you’re wondering who the dumbest person in the world is, I put latte mug of tea in the microwave, but the mug was too tall, so I poured some tea out and tried to put the mug back in.

@Eden_Eats

The sole purpose of a potato masher is to prevent you from opening a drawer.

@Eden_Eats

If you’re wondering how lazy I am today, I just pulled a chair up to the fridge.

@Eden_Eats

I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party.

@Eden_Eats

I hope my neighbors follow me on Twitter cause their car’s lights are on.

@Eden_Eats

Poor Luigi when his parents were all, “This is Mario, we also call him ‘Super Mario’. And this Luigi, we also call him ‘Player 2’.