@Eden_Eats If you’re wondering who the dumbest person in the world is, I put latte mug of tea in the microwave, but the mug was too tall, so I poured some tea out and tried to put the mug back in.
@Eden_Eats @Eden_Eats The sole purpose of a potato masher is to prevent you from opening a drawer.
@Eden_Eats If you’re wondering how lazy I am today, I just pulled a chair up to the fridge.
@Eden_Eats Me: OMG, what a great day!
Anxiety: Wait for it…
@Eden_Eats I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party.
@Eden_Eats I hope my neighbors follow me on Twitter cause their car’s lights are on.
@Eden_Eats Poor Luigi when his parents were all, “This is Mario, we also call him ‘Super Mario’. And this Luigi, we also call him ‘Player 2’.